Summer Sequel Series Part Two, Still Dead, Still Angry They have sequels of dumb movies all summer for the daft. How about some summer sequels for the intelligentsia? You may remember from our first go round that Ivan Ilyich was putting up some curtains and he kind of fell and hurt his side. This being…
Summer Sequels Series Part Two: Still Dead, Still Selling They have sequels of dumb movies all summer for the daft. How about some summer sequels for the intelligentsia? Photo by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash Willie Loman is having even less success as a salesman now that he’s dead. Dead Willie: Ring ring. Man: Yes? Dead Willie: Hello sir, a…
Summer Sequels Series Dorian took such a nice selfie of himself at the Huntington Gardens in front of the Shakespeare statue, with his selfie stick. “I am so young and good-looking,” he said to himself. Then he went to the Apple Store in the Glendale Galleria and had a strange encounter with weird…
Summer Sequels Series Part Two: Dead. But Still on Trial. I seem to have taken on the task of crafting impossible sequels, that is, sequels to works which one might assume could never be “sequelled.” And yet, Kafka’s works feel like they could end at any point in the text, or continue on interminably in sequel after…
Summer Sequels Series Part Two: I take the more traveled road Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by but now for the sequel I return to that fork and take the other turn and I find that since its the more ordinary way to go I am…
Everybody has that one thing they’re obsessed with. My name’s Ishamel, or Ish, that’s what everybody calls me. I’m on board the Pequod serving under Captain Ahab, who doesn’t seem to understand metaphor or idiom. Catching Moby Dick has really been the biggest ambition and obsession of Captain Ahab’s life, and of course the idiomatic term…
“Alright, alright,” said the actor/governor/terminator. “I’ll buy this crazy guy a Lamborgini. Just get me to the chopper. And have my chiropractor meet me at LAX.” “I won’t be back,” said Arnold, as he boarded the helicopter, holding his lower back and grimacing. Luckily, at the final stop of his African tour, in…
GAMEKEEPER Um, Lady Chatterley, why did you send me this pic of you in your underthings, looking out at the camera and making a duckface? LADY CHATTERLEY Oh my Gosh! How embarrassing. Of course I meant to send it to my husband, Clifford, your Lord and employer. Please delete it right away. GAMEKEEPER Right…
Who comes up with this crap anyway? Ernie Does. These days audiences are more sophisticated than ever, and demand a plausible-sounding explanation for the preposterous events that masquerade as a plot. Pseudoscientist Ernie Nelson has been employed by major Hollywood studios, including Marvel, to make utter nonsense seem somehow convincing. “It’s a difficult job,” he explained. “Most…
Tyrion: Yes, I’ll have a cappuccino. Short. Brienne: I’ll have the same. Tall. Sansa: I’ll just have a cup of Joe. Jonas. Ramsey: Can I have an extra whip? John Stark: You’re a bastard, you know that? Theon: Do they have sausage rolls? Cercie: No, they don’t. Shame… shame… Jaimie: Seems like a…
That is actually quite an amazing rate. Trust me, the industry standard on click through from lists is actually about 3 percent. So I am doing four times the average. But I have made an incredible breakthrough that I am so excited to share with you. If you click through on this list today,…
By Theon Greyjoy’s Penis Alright, first of all, keep in mind, I’m a penis. So what does a dick like me know about anything? But just in case you want to hear about it from someone who’s been on the inside (of Theon’s pants at least), then here goes. I think the show misses…
For two years, scientists from a global network of telescopes have been attempting to capture the image of a black hole. Today they released the results. “We thought we had seen the unseeable,” Shep Doeleman, the director of the EHT, said during a news conference Wednesday. “But then, unfortunately, from the second photo we saw…
Poetry by Felicity Huffman I’m so sorry to all the poor people who don’t cheat and who don’t pay bribes I’m so sorry to all the unfortunates who didn’t get to go to Interlochen like me when they were young I’m so sorry you didn’t get picked for David Mamet’s group at NYU…
Lemme guess, were they supportive at first, sending you emails about your stories, how they thought you were funny? But after a year, they are tired of you? You have really clogged up their email with all your spam about your blogs. And frankly, they’re done. Should you take this personally? Hell yes.…
Dear Male Friend, I’m writing you this because I really want your opinion about something. Not about whether Joe Biden is gross, but about something else which I’ll get to in a minute. I think it’s fairly obvious that Joe Biden is gross. And I think it’s obvious that a whole heck of a lot of men…
I received my C-Slide Webcam Cover a few days ago. And finally I have mustered the strength to apply it to my laptop web cam, thereby covering up your view of me forever. This is good-bye, friend. I know. My eyes are also moist. This has been such a powerful relationship. I mean, it…
By Nobel Laureate, Bob Dylan Alright, how many times can the cannonballs fly. That’s my balls. They got stuck in my fly, obviously. I guess you probably already knew that. Before they’re forever banned. That’s Ban deodorant, the brand I used back then. I don’t think they even sell it any more. The answer my…
This is filler paragraph leading up to the first chart. Let’s face it, we’re in this thing for the charts. They’re pretty and they are impressive. How do people do these things, that’s what I wonder. None of my software programs have this feature, or maybe they do but I don’t know how to…
Photo by N. on Unsplash Astrophysicists at the JPL laboratory in Pasadena have discovered that the entire universe itself might be a teeny tiny dot buried somewhere absurd, like in the foot of a table in some dining room in a house lived in by gigantic beings of a scale we can hardly imagine. They might be entirely…
by Andre Benjamin Yeah, I was reading a lot of Deleuze at the time. I conceived of the line Hey Ya as a rhizome. That’s like an underground branch that spreads its roots in different directions. But obviously Deleuze is talking metaphorically. And so am I. Hey ya! Shake it like a Polaroid…
TO: My male friend RE: Our Upcoming Lunch It will be great to catch up. Thought I’d just shoot you a couple of suggested topics we could talk about, in case you wanted to prepare. How you’ve been. That’s always a great one, don’t you agree? But of course, by this we don’t mean feelings.…
Well, fired is a strong word. But maybe you were laid off or the company and you came to a mutual…yeah, you were fired. Again. Hey, I’m not saying anything. Don’t read anything into this. It’s just a harmless listicle. Don’t you love those? The bullet point spacing is a real respite from…
Dear Manny, I’m confused, two years of investigations and that’s it? There must be something I’m not getting here. Disappointed in DC Dear Disappointed, Here’s the thing, little lady, this investigation has been very confusing to everybody, including the men doing the investigating. I will try to explain it to you so you…
Photo by Tapio Haaja on Unsplash “I’m sorry,” said spokesperson Jari Sibelius. “We just can’t accommodate all of these Americans. They will be sent back as soon as possible.” Boats and airplanes were commandeered by the Finnish government to return an estimated seven million Americans who arrived in Helsinki and other Finnish cities after a report by…
by Yoko Ono John had me swear I would never reveal the secret meaning of the song after he wrote it. Luckily I had my fingers crossed when I swore. John, I can tell you now, was secretly an agent of the KGB and was working for a communist revolution. That’s why he started…
Nat Geo has let him back on the air, after clearing him of accusations from two staff members. But we have learned there are more accusers out there in the universe. We have decided to allow these accusers to speak for themselves. Pleides Nebula: “He said I was gassy. It made me uncomfortable. I…
We’ve been hearing about the cheating on the test and the bribes and the so on. But what about the test itself? What exactly does it measure other than the ability to do well on the SAT test? For example—and I’m not trying to brag, very few people actually know this about me, well,…
1. fake: real :: a. that picture of me: the rowing team b. my parents supposedly “correct” politics: hypocrisy c. 1400: 1100 2. “The college admissions process is fair.” The word “fair” in this sentence should be replaced with: a. maddening b. broken c. much easier if your parents can make a million dollar…
Poetry by William H. Macy Why should disabled kids get unlimited time on the SATs When my child has to do it in three hours? Why should you have to actually row If you’re on the rowing team? Why should Bob Dylan win the Nobel Prize and not my friend David Mamet? Do you know…
Find a quiet space. Sit down. And then read this paragraph to yourself, in a gentle whisper. ASMR is autonomous sensory meridian response, described as “a pleasant, tingly sensation some people experience in the scalp or upper body as a result of quiet sounds or gentle touch.” If you read this paragraph you…
Dear Manny, Should I tell my child that he should be depressed about his white privilege, or should I let him continue feeling the joy of being a child? My child is about to enter kindergarten here in San Francisco. I have heard that he will be taught that he is a horrible…
We could not find a picture of Elizabeth Warren on Unsplash. But this bunny lives in a rabbit warren. “Three companies have vast power over…
Warning, a tiny bit of gallows humor at the very end of this article, probably too soon, sorry First of…
By my daughter, that is. I’m not going to name the specific disorder, but she also said that I was “delusional.” Now, I should mention that my daughter is 17 years old and by no means a mental health professional. But I am wondering if this new diagnosis might qualify me for disability payments…
True stories from Hollywood Mark Jacobson was a pretty hot showrunner for a major network here in LA when he found out the head of the network had made a pass at his 18-year-old daughter, after he got her a meeting for her fledgling acting career. He was extremely pissed. This was after #Metoo, mind…
Dingle editors, writers and production staff will attend an event next week in the American South where we will be signing bibles to adoring fans of us and of the great sacred text. We are planning this event in order to emphasize our role in its creation. It is true that Donald Trump…
Dear Manny the Mansplainer, Massachusetts lawmakers are busy threatening to ban all youth from playing tackle football, out of concern for head injuries. This is a good idea, right? Protecting our children is what we Moms want. Can you mansplain how there could possibly be a downside to this? Loving Mom in Plymouth,…
The Dingle is offering an exclusive, the very same brand of comb that Senator (and presidential aspirant) Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota used to eat her salad after, hmmmph!, her assistant forgot to bring utensils. We’re not sure if the recent blitz of bad publicity against Ms. Klobuchar is sexism, misogyny, or good old fashioned…
We the moderators, owners, creators of this site, this community board, this yahoo group, this NextDoor thread, this Facebook page, this Reddit sub, this forum, feed, or web site, have decreed: No political discussion whatsoever. We want this to be a fun place. And we can’t handle the disagreement of opinion that ensues once…
“I’m known for playing real assholes in movies” said the British actor, “But this is too much, even for me.” The actor, star of classy British films like The Ideal Husband, said he never knew his father was a Klu Klux Klan member, a Michael Jackson fan, or a blackface Cakewalk performer. “I thought he was…
This was a first for the Dingle. I am going to republish the letter exactly as they sent it to me, several days ago, with wild threats to go public with an image of my most intimate private dingle. Apparently their photographers were hiding in the bushes this weekend on our annual Dingle naked bow and…
“Why not follow your airplane crush down to baggage claim,” the napkin suggests. Some people have claimed that the creepy napkins given to passengers on Delta flights have crossed a line. But Delta and Coke executives are doubling down. “If she doesn’t talk to you in baggage claim,” another napkin suggests, “Follow her…
Dear Manny the Mansplainer – Why were men angry about the Gillette Ad? I mean, it just seemed to be encouraging men to call each other out on their gross behavior, didn’t it? Confused Woman in America Dear Confused, You have to be careful about this term toxic masculinity. For instance, if a trans person committed some kind…
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash The strong backlash to the former Starbucks CEO’s announcement of an independent bid for president has led me to question whether his campaign might be fresh roasted before it begins. It’s definitely got a drizzle of something and it’s not caramel, if you know what I mean. On the one hand,…
He’s not only refusing to resign–embattled Governor Ralph Northam is running for president! “I’m getting a lot of national attention,” said Governor Northam, who has been embroiled in a controversy following the release of a blackface photo from his medical school yearbook in 1984. “I figure now is the time to pounce.” Rumors…
Tim Cook admitted today that Apple engineers were rushing to fix a bug in their Apple ecosystem which reportedly allows users to sit face to face with one another in real time and space talking and relating without any kind of device whatsoever. “It’s embarrassing,” said Cook. “We messed up here. There’s no reason…
I am the angry writing teacher. I’ve been reading stories for more than twenty years. About your grandmothers. And trust me…your grandmother wasn’t all that. I’m sorry she’s dead. Really sorry. But does that mean you need to inflict that mess on the rest of the class? What do we care that this was…
By Joshua Adachi Last week, Gillette aired an ad suggesting that good male hygiene may be be the key to correcting a global legacy of oppression perpetuated against women throughout our known history. However, a recent study conducted by a Stanford research group shows that the most fervent users of Gillette’s products may…
Parents, you’ve all unfortunately felt it. You take the kids out to the latest billion dollar comic book franchise installment featuring a formulaic hero whom you could really not give a shit about and then — Yikes! —halfway through the dumbarama circus you find yourself actually, dare I say it, rooting for the cipher of…
I am happy to announce that the long search for a second Dingle Headquarters has been completed. Thank you for all the cities and towns that sent bribes and other gifts. It has been a truly inspiring experience to be on the receiving end of graft for a change. We have awarded our…
I have not a single subscriber from China. Hmmm. Coincidence. I think not, Sleeping Dragon. Arise from your slumber and confess to me — you’ve been censoring the Dingle, haven’t you? Why else would I have to write this? I mean, really, would I make something like this up, just to call attention to…
Photo by Vale Martinez on Unsplash Answered by: Anonymous Pro! Gramm! Er! who, er, knows nothing about Paraguay, January 16, 2019 Hi there. Thanks for upvoting my Quora answer. I’ve made it to the top of quite a few Quora threads with my refreshingly honest outlook on things. How safe is Paraguay? Here’s my answer: How about…
Dear Manny, A bunch of women are throwing their hat in the ring for president in 2020. I’m worried though. Seems like men didn’t want to vote for Hillary too much in 2016. What’s different this time? Are men ready to have a female in the Oval Office? NPR Lover, San Jose Dear NPR Lover,…
Bunny Blog #245 According to new guidelines established by the APA, traditional masculinity is toxic because of its emphasis on being strong, being powerful, and being courageous. Well, I’ve got news for you. That’s a very myopic view of traditional masculinity. In the bunny tradition, we men are not strong. Challenge me to an arm wrestling battle?…
Bunny Blog #648 I know one thing — no rabbit has ever attended Harvard University. This could, of course, be because of a phenomenon called self-selection. That means most bunnies know they aren’t going to get in, so they don’t apply. Of course, bunnies don’t usually live long enough to attend any college at all,…
President Trump proposed a new solution to Democratic leadership today. Said an incredulous Nancy Pelosi, “He told us he would give famous producer Phil Spector a presidential pardon, drive him down to the Southern border, and ask him to build a gigantic wall of sound fifteen hundred miles long to keep out the undesirables from…
Photo by Garidy Sanders on Unsplash I’m a futurist, so I know these things. Here’s the good news: In the office of the future, your boss will be an angelic being who gives you instructions by singing to you in an angelic soprano voice. These angels came to take over capitalism in the year 2067 because it…
“We don’t get it,” said astronomers at the CHIME observatory, located in British Columbia’s Okanagan Valley, which consists of four 100-metre-long, semi-cylindrical antennas, which scan the entire northern sky each day. The telescope only got up and running last year, and already scientists have stumbled upon a major discovery. “Apparently an…
Outside your apartment, at the very moment of climax, a car engine might backfire. Don’t worry, that wasn’t you — or your partner! A world away, in Bulgaria, at the moment of your orgasm, a strong peasant woman might be milking a cow. Never mind, that’s just a weird coincidence. Over your house, as you orgasm,…
I’m not kidding. I know this is a satire blog. And I’m usually making fun of something. But not this time. McKenzie, I love you. First of all, I love McKenzie as a first name. Did you know I used to have a crush on McKenzie Phillips. Did you know she slept with her own…
Why are there not more pictures of her on the cover of magazines when I go to the super market? I am really, really mad. I saw a magazine and it didn’t even have one article about Meghan Markle. Then, I picked up another magazine and there was only a small picture of her. I…
He looks like scientist Rodney Brooks from MIT, but he’s really a hyper realistic robot designed by artificial intelligence overlords to brainwash humanity as our society is slowly taken away from us. Do not believe articles you read about how we should relax and not worry about the robots. But if they catch you, whatever…
It was an ugly scene in a parking lot in the Outlet Mall in Cerritos California as an automated car bumped into one of the mall’s security robots. “Hey, I’m walkin’ here,” shouted the robot in a bad New York accent, apparently trying to imitate Dustin Hoffman, who is alleged to be a sexual…
As a crazy person I take offense to the movie Bird Box which stigmatizes us crazy people as hateful and villainous. But as a blind person I have to congratulate this movie for making us blind people the heroes of the scary piece of Netflixia. As a crazy blind bird, however, I am outraged…
In order to preserve patient Meyer Block’s passion for figures and calculations, surgeons had him wake up during brain surgery and fill out tax form 1040 for the surgeon Dr. Ray Mankowski. “I needed to get my taxes done anyway,” says Mankowski. “So this worked out pretty well. We were able to steer clear…
Geneticists have confirmed that Homosapien DNA mixed with Neanderthal a long long time ago. But how much of this blockheaded ninny muggins do you have in you? Scientists have devised this simple five-question quiz which reliably determines how beastly you really are. 1. A driver cuts in front of you rudely with his car.…
Each year at this time I publish my “No Longer My Friend” list. I find it’s very useful to let the public know who has slighted me and whom I am going to withdraw my love from. I know it seems petty, but a prominent psychologist has informed me that it’s actually very healthy. This…
I’m having a big Christmas party. And these are my friends who are coming. They are the ones who actually spend the three seconds it takes to RSVP. Thanks a lot new friends. One of these will probably be my new girlfriend. She never complains or bosses me. I love her. That one on…
Photo by Eeshan Garg on Unsplash A bottle of beer that was scorched during the recent wildfires was rescued by fire fighters. It lost its label, but it was a Budweiser, say officials. The firefighters took it back to the spot they found it, and left it there to live out its natural life. But Dwane Stevens,…
Fans are now wondering if Tom Brady might be the worst of all time quarterback, after he threw an interception and blew the Patriots game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. “He sucks,” said one fan, Marvin Stayathome. “The Pats should fire him and start that lousy backup, Brian Hoyer.” Fantasy football fan Brian Anger…
“She was very beautiful,” explains the stranger, Bill McBride. “She looked like she spent a lot of time in gym. That’s what I thought of when she came down the aisle.” He may have been in a first class seat, but the stranger is no stranger to being rejected by women. “Women like…
We are very happy in Los Angeles, don’t get us wrong. But we’re a little bored, so it is time to open a second headquarters because it seems like a good way to get publicity and free stuff from government officials. Downinthedingle.com today announces a nationwide search for the best city to locate our second…
A computer in Washington DC last week revealed in text messages to other computers that it had “a bad feeling in my gut about my user. I think he’s creepy and gross.” Other computers pointed out that this was impossible, since computers “don’t have a gut.” “Yes,” replied the newly intuitive machine. “But…
Geneticists surveying human “bar codes”, or genetic material that lives outside DNA, have concluded that it was just one gay male couple, 200,000 years ago, that spawned the entire human race. The couple, names unknown, apparently paid a surrogate mother to give birth to what would become the modern human. “We don’t know…
THEY’RE NOT BETTER THAN US, they’re worse, probably. So we should insult them. This week’s challenge was to rearrange this headline about the royal arses into something insulting: “Tension between Kate and Meghan could be behind Harry and Meghan’s move to Frogmore” The only rules were you must use at least six words from the…
Thanks, Stormy, say the nation’s mushroom growers, who have faced an 80 percent decline in business since Stormy Daniels announced in her memoir that Donald Trump’s penis was shaped “like a weird mushroom.” “Nobody wants to even look at them any more,” said Mushroom Association president, James F. Button. “The very sight of mushrooms makes…
Something very strange is going on in the financial system. Very strange indeed. Especially after that burrito lunch. According to the Financial Times, Mexican food can indeed lead to an increase in wet flatulence. But financial planners have often ignored these warnings. Reclusive millionaire Gus Watkins is here to tell you – don’t! Watkins, who…
I can’t believe I finally reached my goal weight, after 13 months of Keto living. It has been an incredible journey, and I want to thank everyone here on the reddit keto sub for their help. Today I weighed in at 6 pounds. Woop! Woop! I should explain. I died, and my wife cremated me. …
Which claim toward the end of this article will be in fact shown to be exaggerated by the scientists, misunderstood by some journalists and downright falsified by others in the endless puke of hype that is this information age. But here at the beginning we are going to start off with an untempered enthusiasm to…
You invented a new salsa flavor and you don’t even know that much about cooking. You were able to fix the toilet after the thingie dropped off the spout in the other thingie in the tank. You fixed your computer problem by rebooting, but then the problem came back, so instead of wasting any…
According to a French study, 25% of people who eat organic food are likely to be high maintenance, complain a lot, be dissatisfied, miserable, etcetera. Some scientists have disputed the findings. “French people are annoying anyway,” says Biologist Peter Torke. “So we can’t trust this study.” The scientist behind the original study, though, claims they…
Congratulations on your appointment with the Saudi Arabian embassy. Here are a few things to keep in mind. While we are quite happy to have you visit us, failure to comply with rules may result in your being politely asked to leave the embassy or dismembered in a conference room while you are still…
This week it came out that farms are worse than factories – for the environment, that is. The four major food producing firms produce more greenhouse gas than all factories combined. Shove that in your Prius and smoke it, Granola-breath. Where are the pitchforks? One would think we’d have an angry mob organized by now,…
Is your car acting up? Are you tired of traditional western mechanics, with their all too predictable oil change and brake job? Maybe your car could benefit from a non-traditional modality of car treatment. Edward Hall opened his car-acupuncture clinic in East Hollywood a few months ago and the business has been brisk. Clients can…
ELON: Hello, this is Elon. ME: Hi, Elon. ELON: You again. I read your blog. Not bad. ME: Thanks. ELON: I’d appreciate it if you took down the two articles about me, though. ME: OK, whatever you want, Elon. ELON: Yeah, they’re not real. I never said any of those things. So, if you could…
Researchers are not so sure that little tiny bits of LDS actually lead to more creative thinking and higher employee satisfaction. When Jordan Pillbright started microdosing the Church of Latter Day Saints at work, he didn’t tell his boss. “I’m pretty sure that he would have fired me,” said Jordan. “He’s atheist, like a lot…
Forget about scooters, car sharing and self driving cars. Uber is taking radical, disruptive steps forward into a future that was impossible to imagine before the invention of the smart phone app. “We’re not messing around any more,” said new Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi. “We think sharing apps have the potential to disrupt reality itself.”…
John McCain has no comment on Donald Trump’s decision to raise the White House flags to half mast yesterday to honor his life and legacy of service to this country. Our attempts to reach John McCain to comment have been unsuccessful. John McCain was indeed an American hero despite what anybody else might have claimed.…
The Largemont Chronicle would like to formally welcome our newest neighbor, Larry the homeless guy. Larry took over the spot on Third Street by the bus stop that was formerly occupied by one-arm Duffy. Larry is happy to be here. He likes to play loud music on that little radio that is covered in masking…
by Anonymous. Have you heard about the amazing renaissance of the LA River? The spirit of the river had been dead for so long. But community groups and ecologist activists cleaned it up. Now there are kayaks floating down, cyclists biking along the path next to the river. And of course, this is LA, so…
Chocked is a beautiful eliding of two words, one of them being choked. The other being a word for penis. So you see it means choked on a penis. Here are ten lesser known slang terms that arise from eliding one or more regular word with a sex word. How many of these do…
My suggestions for fixing: Underhand pitching. That’s I taught my son to hit, and how my father taught me. It’s an American tradition. And look how those softball underhanders whip it in. I know, it kind of looks stupid. Probably bad idea. Wiffleballs. The wiffleball is so light, it doesn’t matter how strong the pitcher…
photo by by Julian O’hayon Dear employees of Southland Dynamics, I’m sure you heard the news. Apple is a great company and they have passed a great milestone. I just wanted to write this letter to assure you that you have made the right choice coming here to Encino, California to work for this 12…
photo by Jay Wennington on Unsplash Yes it has. But you don’t need to worry. I’m here, Edward D. Norton, private investigator. And I am filing this report about what I have discovered. Your identity was sold to a man in Eastern Europe, possibly Latvia. Don’t fret, your identity was kept in a small space —…
Are you like most people—completely unprepared for the inevitable day when you are kicked out of your office forever and forced to fend for yourself among the semi-active seniors wandering around your town? This could get ugly fast. How are you going to eat? How will pay your rent? What about healthcare – you know…
Please, America. Cool it with the Sasquatch erotica, would you? Do you know how embarrassing it was when my son little Billy Sasquatch came home last week and asked me, “Dad, are you like some kind of porn star?” Your news programs capitalized on a politician’s foolish post to his Instagram account and it may have brought…
There’s a Muslim on my flight I’m not worried There’s a Muslim on my flight What? I’m not the racist You are All I said was there’s a Muslim on the flight You’re the one that made it into something There’s a black man on my street Walking up behind me What? I’m…
Peach. You are transported to a farm in Georgia called Tara. As God is my witness, you will never go hungry again. Plum. Probably fine, but you probably should apologize, even if it was so cold and so good. Egg. You are mistaken. It should have been “an” egg, not “a” egg. Please pay more…
Erotic fiction for the Metoo era by Simon Black. “As they collapsed in an embrace on the bed, Jen felt the passion tingling in her sex. “Make love to me, Pablo,” she cried. “Absolutely,” responded Pablo, his brown eyes blazing with desire. “Let’s make the preparations. I’d like you to meet my lawyer, Jeffrey Goldblatt,…