Summer Sequels Series Part Two: I take the more traveled road Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by but now for the sequel I return to that fork and take the other turn and I find that since its the more ordinary way to go I am…
Poetry by William H. Macy Why should disabled kids get unlimited time on the SATs When my child has to do it in three hours? Why should you have to actually row If you’re on the rowing team? Why should Bob Dylan win the Nobel Prize and not my friend David Mamet? Do you know…
I repeat. Do not eat raw cookie dough, It could kill you. Warning. I repeat. Warning! Do not put your finger in whip cream. Do not drink from the bottle. Do not kiss your dog. Do not have your dog in bed with you. Do not use your sister in law’s HBO…
There’s a Muslim on my flight I’m not worried There’s a Muslim on my flight What? I’m not the racist You are All I said was there’s a Muslim on the flight You’re the one that made it into something There’s a black man on my street Walking up behind me What? I’m…
This is what I ate today: Breakfast An egg 50 calories Coffee w/cream 30 calories Crow, unplucked, uncooked, eaten raw as I admitted I was wrong and you were right. 150 calories Lunch 1 big sandwich 250 calories Humble pie, served with a side of sheepishness, I admit once again that I was wrong about…
NOVEL ONE – (ANGRY YOUNG MAN FICTION) Fuck your Never worn baby shoes I ain’t buyin em. (But if you are giving them away for free text me) NOVEL TWO (DARK COMEDY) I would like To return the never worn baby shoes I bought from you. My baby died. (these shoes are fucking cursed)…
(To the Tune of “Vincent”, by Don McLean) Starry starry night Poster frame of blue and grey I saw at a yard sale today Who would buy that? I really want to know? Shadows on the porch Some golf clubs and a tiki torch Some dirty jeans and women’s shorts A print by Escher and…
Everything that seems so great about my city is really very harmful The restaurants so fun, fattening me up for my first heart attack The bars so steam punk and sourced wood, make my alcoholism seem clever The weed emporiums so pungent, sap my motivation The new shops sustainable and running up my credit card…