256 Pounds Down Today!

256 Pounds Down Today!

person standing on white digital bathroom scale

I can’t believe I finally reached my goal weight, after 13 months of Keto living.  It has been an incredible journey, and I want to thank everyone here on the reddit keto sub for their help.  Today I weighed in at 6 pounds.  Woop!  Woop!

I should explain.  I died, and my wife cremated me.  I don’t know why she did that, but anyhow, great.  I am at 6 pounds and I am going to go on Keto maintenance for a while.  That means I can have one cheat day per week, and as long as I weigh my ashes regularly and make sure that I’m not gaining weight, I should be able to maintain this 6 pounds until at least the spring, when I have learned my wife plans on dumping my ashes in Cape Cod where we got married. 

I guess then I’ll weigh about zero pounds.  Until some plankton eat me.  Then I will start getting fat again.  Damn.

So, Keto was amazing, I lost forty pounds and got almost down to 200 when I had my heart attack and that was that.  I don’t know if it was all the heavy coconut cream..  Hey I don’t want to get into that debate.  Keto helped me when I thought all hope was lost, that’s all I know.

Oh!  My blood sugar level is down to zero and my blood pressure is a lot lower too.

Have I mentioned that I weigh six pounds?  Nobody’s calling me fatso any more.  Fuck you all , naturally thin people.  I win!  

I’m dead, but I win!

One confession.  I do miss the bread!  Man, how I miss the bread….


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