A Liberal’s Dream Come True?
Dems Flip 186 more House seats, Senate Now in Play After Recounts
The Blue Wave was a tsunami, turns out.
Trump apparently going crazy stomping back and forth and gnashing his teeth. Melania is freaking. Ivanka is crying. The Trump boys have cancelled their giraffe hunting trip. Pence is hiding under a bed.
Where’s Jared? Has anyone seen Jared?
Mitch McConnell is drunk. The Tea Party is over. The Freedom Caucus has disbanded. The NRA shot itself.
Grover Nordquist is pacing the halls of Americans for Tax Reform offices, drooling at the mouth and shouting at ghosts.
Clarence Thomas is running naked through the Supreme Court Building.
Fox News puts up a Technical Difficulties screen and goes off the air
Indefinitely.
The Republicans have lost and lost badly. Everyone agrees it’s Trump’s fault.
Trump’s rear end is hurting, very badly. It’s bleeding. Trump is hiding in a closet in the Oval Office.
Trump is suffering.
Nobody has ever suffered like Trump is suffering.
And so are all red necks, evangelicals, and deplorables.
In fact, Christ appears before all the evangelicals.
“None of you know me,” he scolds them.
“My message is love, not hate, you idiots!”
The evangelicals are sorry.
Trump is sorry.
With aching fingers, Trump reaches for his phone.
And tweets….
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry everybody. Really. I am really, finally, ashamed, and sorry. The voters have spoken and I’ve seen the error of my ways. Nobody really likes me. I’m a jerk and a clown. Those people who cheer at my rallies have some kind of mental disorder. I have repented. I vow to change, to improve, and to be nicer. I’m going to get therapy. As I said, I’m very sorry.”
Then Trump’s phone rings.
He’s afraid to pick it up.
He looks at the caller ID.
It makes him shudder.
It says…
Robert Mueller.
He sends it straight to voicemail.
“I resign,” Trump announces.
“Don’t look at me,” says Pence.
He resigns too.
The Speaker of the House is appointed Prez.
President Pelosi!
That sounds weird, despite the alliteration.
Something about it startles the liberal in his sleep.
The dreamer awakens.
Stumbles to the bathroom.
Looks in the mirror.
Sees the familiar face.
Tears begin to fall.
It was just a dream.
None of it was real.
But then suddenly Nancy Pelosi bursts into song and dance.
Top hat and cane.
Dancing through the bathroom.
“You gotta have a dream
Cause if you don’t have a dream
How you gonna have a dream…
Come true!”
Then she flies out the window.
That was strange.
The Liberal goes back to bed.
