Are you overly earnest? Take our quiz

1) You want the world to be better because
a) Your wings are made of silk    b) you are an activist   c) you are a thought leader   d) the world’s not reaching up to your standards

2) You want people to be nicer and to care more because
a) Your soul is pure white light   b) you care deeply   c) you are nice   d) you’re part of the solution

3) You are allergic to chalk because
a) That’s offensive, you’re feeling angry now   b) dust   c) math class was hard   d) you’re broken

4) You don’t see gender race sexuality religion yet all you see is gender race sexuality religion because:
a) That sentence hurts   b) you are confused   c) these are the most important things in the whole universe   d) you are part of the problem

5) You think some sports are too violent because
a) They are, it’s scientifically proven   b) the jocks bullied you   c) you are uncoordinated   d) you are Gandhi

6) You voted for a meaningless third-party candidate because
a) You don’t think she was meaningless   b) you’re not very good looking   c) you wanted to waste a vote   d) you are more serious than the average voter

7) You ask your host where the recycling is because
a) You don’t want to throw out plastic   b) you want to signal your virtue   c) climate change   d) recycling makes you feel horny

8) You are sorry about white privilege because
a) Everybody should be   b) aren’t you?   c) it’s the thing to do   d) you’ve read some history

9) You are trying to get a bunch of people together to do something dumb because
a) Doesn’t everybody love kickball?   b) you like doing really dumb things   c) participation medal   d) too many playdates

10) Cynicism is:
a) Repellent   b) sad   c) appropriate in a hypocritical world   d) giving up

11) Satire is:
a) Hurtful   b) useless   c) destructive   d) sometimes funny but not usually

SCORING: A=1 point B= 2 points C= 3 points D = 4 points. Add up all your scores.

Now ask yourself, how earnestly did you add them up? Did you use a calculator? Did you use a pen and scratch paper? Are you sure you got the right total? If you are, then you are overly earnest.