Conversations with My Dog #37
ME: Come here boy.
MAC: What’s up?
ME: What’s the difference between a man and an ape?
MAC: Hmmm, I think there are some genetic differences, no?
ME: I guess so. But even if we have some different genes, I mean, aren’t we basically apes?
MAC: What’s brought this on?
ME: I went to the zoo.
MAC: I see.
ME: And I spent some time looking at the gorillas, the chimps, the orangutans. The red apes! The spider monkeys. I don’t know. I think we’re basically really big spider monkeys.
MAC: And what would be the problem with that? Is it there something wrong with being an animal?
ME: Not for you. I mean you’re a dog. You don’t have that duality, that soul versus body conflict. You don’t have that terror of death. You don’t wonder what it’s all about. You’re so free.
MAC: Sometimes I get bored…very bored. Like right now for instance.
ME: I know, but it’s not the same. Your boredom, your issues, whatever they may be, they’re much smaller than my issues. My issues are huge.
MAC: Oh you got some huge issues alright.
ME: Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t see my feet. I see two hooves. Animal hooves.
MAC: Me, I see paws.
ME: I was thinking about Charles Darwin.
MAC: Origen of the Species?
ME: Not that book specifically. Just the general idea that we evolved from slime, you know. And were fish once. And then we became men.
MAC: Is that how it went?
ME: Yeah, yeah, make fun of me. You love to make fun of me. And that’s cool. I love that about you. You put my problems in perspective.
MAC; Yeah, are we going to eat soon, by the way?
ME: Definitely. Let me get you a steak.
MAC: Thank you.
ME: No, thank you. I feel a lot better now. But before I grab you that steak from the fridge, just tell me. I mean take a look at me. And tell me.
MAC: Tell you what?
ME: Do I look like an ape?
MAC: Jesus…