Crappy Van Gogh Poster

(To the Tune of “Vincent”, by Don McLean)

Starry starry night
Poster frame of blue and grey
I saw at a yard sale today
Who would buy that? I really want to know?
Shadows on the porch
Some golf clubs and a tiki torch
Some dirty jeans and women’s shorts
A print by Escher and this old Vince Van Gogh

I want to understand  
Tell me how much might this poster be?
A dollar, that’s insanity
You should give this away for free
Can you say his name in Dutch?  Bet you do not know how
It’s actually pronounced Vincent Van Cow

Starry starry night
Some fake flowers and a tacky vase
A toaster and a microwave
And this crappy poster on this crappy day
I was driving by
And this image somehow caught my eye
Where did it hang?  Please tell me why
You don’t just throw it in the garbage can?

Cause I don’t understand
What the hell it’s supposed to mean
It’s been destroyed by Don Mclean
It’s become much worse than a cliché
A thing you can’t shake, like a nasty cough
Or an ear that’s been hacked off

And now we cannot love him
Vincent’s just a piece of poo
And when every other thing of old
In this yard sale has been sold
He’ll still be here ‘cause nobody wants Vin
So do yourself a favor Hon, chuck him in the bin

Starry starry night
Alright I’m offering you fifty cents
The glass is cracked, the frame is bent
And the poster lacks the layered paint effect
I saw it once, that’s right
The original, “Starry Night”
It was traveling with that Van Gogh show
That was years ago, and oh I had big plans

Now I understand
What this poster says to me
How it all becomes inanity
This poster sets me free
You’re not listening you don’t give a fuck
Alright, I’ll take it, here’s your buck.

And when no hope is left inside
I’ll look at this starry starry night
And think of something even more trite and obscene
That other stupid song by Don McLean
You know the one I mean.

Actually I love them both
This was just a little joke
Please don’t think me vile
Because a long long time ago
I can still remember
How that music and that painting used to make me
Smile.