Dear Manny the Mansplainer, Please Mansplain the Mueller Report to Me
Dear Manny,
I’m confused, two years of investigations and that’s it? There must be something I’m not getting here.
Disappointed in DC
Dear Disappointed,
Here’s the thing, little lady, this investigation has been very confusing to everybody, including the men doing the investigating. I will try to explain it to you so you can understand, in very simple terms.
Imagine a child won a big bag of candy at school in a raffle. He comes home with all this candy and his Mom is in the kitchen in her heels and her nice dress, with rubber gloves on cause she’s doing the dishes, and in a second she’s going to read the Bible. But now, naturally his Mom is suspicious about this candy.
She takes off her rubber gloves and she is quite concerned, so she does the right thing. She calls her husband at the office and asks him what she should do. Her husband tells her not to worry about it. Maybe she should lie down and take a nap, he says, because she sounds a little hysterical, as women can get some times.
Anyhow, the Dad comes home. It takes him a while, but finally he gets ahold of his teacher who confirms, “Yep, there was nothing amiss, the kid won the candy fair and square. No he didn’t steal it. And there was no collusion.”
Well, that kid is Trump. He won the election, but some people were worried that the Russians helped him.
It took a while, but they determined that there was no crime, and that Trump won the election fair and square.
So that’s why every picture you see of Trump for the last couple days he looks happy and he’s wearing a big smile.
He’s been eating the candy.
And it tastes so good!
Hope that helps,
Manny the Mansplainer.
