Death of a Salesman

Summer Sequels Series

Part Two: Still Dead, Still Selling

They have sequels of dumb movies all summer for the daft. How about some summer sequels for the intelligentsia?

Willie Loman is having even less success as a salesman now that he’s dead.

Dead Willie: Ring ring.

Man: Yes?

Dead Willie: Hello sir, a minute of your time. I’m selling something. And I’m dead. What do you think of that?

Man: Interesting. What are you selling?

Dead Willie: That’s unclear.

Man: What do you mean unclear? I’ve got to know what I’m buying, don’t I?

Dead Willie: Do you? Isn’t it better than I’m an everyman, selling everything. You can imagine it’s vacuum cleaners. Encylopedias. Egg beaters. What do you want to imagine?

Man: I don’t know. Sex dolls? The new kind. You can’t even tell them apart from real women.

Dead Willie: Alright then. We’re getting somewhere. How many would you like?

Man: Just one.

Dead Willie: OK. Great. But you know what? I’m really selling The American Dream.

Man: I already have one of those. I want a sex doll.

Dead Willie: No, but do you really know what the American Dream is? How can you already have it if you don’t really know what it is. That’s what I stand for. The complexity, and in a way, a critique of the American Dream. Like my Uncle Ben said. I went into the jungle at 17 and when I walked out at 21 I was rich.

Man: Do you have sex dolls or not?

Dead Willie: I don’t know. I’m a little in and out of the present moment. I flash back to the past. I flash back to the present. I talk to dead people. I talk to alive people. And I’m dead. The American Dream is dead.

Man: Do you take credit cards?

Dead Willie: No, see, the American Dream is sold in one payment, not installments. You know what the payment is? Your life.

Man: OK, I’m gonna close the door now. Nice talking to you.

Dead Willie: It was nice talking to you too. I’m gonna get in my car now and drive away. I’d recommend staying off the roads for a while. I’m a crazy driver.

Man: I’ve got insurance.

Dead Willie: Oh do you? He’s got insurance. You hear that Uncle Ben? Insurance. What twenty thousand? Listen up Biff! Oh boy….

Sound of laughter, and a car starting. The Dead Willie Loman drives away.