Einstein Proven Right after Theory of General Relativity Confirmed to Work on Distant Racial Stereotypes
Albert Einstein’s ostensibly racist observations that were recently unearthed in his private travel diary written in 1922 have been proven to be relatively unracist compared to your own racist thoughts.
Yes, it’s true, he didn’t much seem to like the Chinese, whom he thought had too many children and appeared “spiritless and obtuse.”
However, using new cutting edge neurological scanners, scientists have recently discovered proof that your own thoughts about the natives when you go to a foreign land are far more racist, “relative” to Einstein’s. Luckily, you’re not important, so your racist stereotypes will remain private and known only to you and your closest loved ones, who likely find your racist stereotyping of other cultures harmless and quite amusing. In other words, relatively speaking, your loved ones are also more racist than Einstein.
“Only a few people on earth are smart enough to understand general relativity,” said astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. “And even fewer understand the theory of relativity as it applies to cultural xenophobia, ethnocentric bias and basic tribalism. What Einstein’s theory proves is that a person who today seems tolerant, kind, and accepting of all races will undoubtedly be judged by the standards of a not too distant future to be a heartless, barbaric and racist maniac.”
It’s just the way things evolve, as described by Einstein’s famous formula E = MC2. In this formula, E, the energy we waste arguing about who is the bigger racist, is exactly equal to M, how little it matters because we’re all C, carbon based meat puppets who have exactly about two more seconds left to live in the cosmic scheme of things so shut the hell up, why don’t we?
Adds Tyson, “Everybody thinks they are the center of the universe and unfortunately, everyone is wrong. And nobody is more wrong than you.”
According to the most recent data, you are the most self-centered, self-enamored and self-deluded life form that has ever existed. Of course, it is possible that other universes exist where there are beings even more deluded than you. But one thing is certain, Einstein is a more decent person than you in almost every way. Way more.
By the way, Einstein seemed to like the Japanese, whom he described as “unostentatious, decent, altogether very appealing,” which is ironic considering thanks to Einstein’s theories an atom bomb was dropped on them only 22 years later.
When notified about the publication of his “racist” diaries, Albert Einstein had no comment. What he did say was this:
“It’s very depressing to live in a time where it’s easier to break an atom than a prejudice.”
And you have certainly never said anything as poignant as that.
