Genius Analyst Warns of Impending Catastrophe
The analyst behind a Wall Street Think Tank that predicted some of the most catastrophic and surprising events of the past half-century is now 100 percent sure that we are doomed.
No, he’s not a psychic or a fortune teller. He’s just a really smart fellow, who attended Harvard and at the Sorbonne in Paris, France and, after being expelled from those two institutions, finished up at University of Phoenix in Los Angeles. This is the man who in 1993 shockingly predicted OJ Simpson would kill his own wife.
“All the numbers and the warning signs were there,” says this brilliant analyst. “I’m just the only one who noticed it.”
But that wasn’t all he predicted. In 1996 this analyst predicted Bill Clinton would spew on an intern and be impeached by Congress.
“It was fairly obvious if you looked at the charts that Monica Lewisnky was going to get spewed on. But I’m the only one who saw this.”
In 1999, do you remember? All the world was worried about the Y2K bug which was supposedly going to cripple the communications and technology sector. This analyst saw a different threat. And indeed, as predicted, in late 2000, actress Demi Moore divorced from actor Bruce Willis after 13 years of marriage. How did this analyst foresee this heart-breaking tragedy?
“Well, thirteen is an unlucky number,” the analyst says. “Also, I met them at a party in Malibu. They seemed a little tense with one another.”
Then in the next year, when September 11 happened and the world changed forever, this analyst made perhaps the most outrageous prediction of his career.
“I predicted that Bjork would wear a swan dress to the Academy Awards,” he says. “I mean, I didn’t publish the prediction – it would have been too controversial – but I let many of my private clients know they should expect it. And so they were prepared.”
If you don’t remember that infamous swan dress, you can click here to see it in all its horrific glory.
(In a related prediction, only a few years later, this analyst would also predict that singer John Mayer would wear this Borat-style thong on a cruise he organized for friends).
Later on in the decade, when the world was stung by the financial crisis of 2008, this analyst was not caught by surprise – he predicted that, remarkably, Demi Moore, her new husband Ashton Kutchner and her ex-husband Bruce Willis would all go fishing together.
“I don’t know how it happened. I saw in my mind, the image of Demi sitting on this young man’s lap on a boat, while Bruce was pulling on a fishing rod next to them, obviously hauling in an amazing catch.”
Sure enough, in late 2008 this somewhat disturbing picture was published.
Finally, in 2016, when Donald Trump shocked the world by winning the presidency of the greatest country on earth, nobody predicted this tragic event.
“Well, Harambe the gorilla,” says this analyst, with a tear in his eye. “I saw that coming. Nobody listened. I tried, I really tried, but…”
This analyst has broken down sobbing now. We’re going to have to finish up here.
So. What is the latest doomsday prediction from the most brilliant analyst ever known to mankind? It is not good news, ladies and gentlemen, but you want to be prepared. This analyst has bought himself a completely self-sustaining ranch in remote northern Argentina where he and his loved ones will be able to ride out this crisis. But will you be ready? Do you have any idea what is coming? Probably not. But do you have a guess. Alright. We’ll give you a hint. Caitlyn Jenner. Alright! We’ve already said to much. In order to find out the answer you will have to go down this sales funnel here which you will only be able to escape by buying this analyst’s newsletter. Enjoy! See you in Argentina.
Click here to find out this calamitous prediction.
