I Love Game of Thrones, Am I a Sadist? – Take Our Quiz

1. When the little boy Bran got pushed out the window by Jamie Lannister and plummeted down six stories, the result being paralysis:

a) I laughed b) I cried c) I ejaculated d) all of the above

2. When the sadistic Joffrey ordered the execution of Ned Stark, with Ned’s two young daughters in attendance in the town square, and the executioner put Ned’s head on the log and swung back the axe:

a) I wished the camera didn’t cut away b) I felt happy for the first time in my life c) I was moderately surprised, but after all, HBO shows always kill of a main character in season one d) I went outside and looked for small animals to torture

3) When Jaime Lannister got his hand hacked off:

a) It was good family fun b) he deserved it but he is cute c) I wished the camera held longer on the moment the blade started slicing the flesh d) well, he did push the kid out the window in question 1, don’t forget.

4) When Joffrey tortured Sansa by making her look at her father’s head up on a stick:

a) That was excellent b) he’s a role model to us all c) Sansa should be grateful he didn’t cut her head off, plus she’s a lousy actress, although it must be said by season seven she finally learned to deliver a line like she’s not reading it off a script, I thought they taught good acting in England, jeesh, she’s dating Joe Jonas by the way, who sings like he has a stomach ache, someone get that boy a tums d) I got a boner

5) Watching the dwarf have sex with that whore was:

a) so awesome b) creepy but good c) I heard he’s big d) I thought dwarf tossing meant something else

6) Watching Joffrey die of poisoning was:

a) pretty cool but I wanted him to say he was sorry and beg for mercy b) sad, he was my hero c) that’s ok, they can get that red queen to come bring him back to life, can’t they? d) sad, he was so young and he had only murdered one whore with a cross bow and it wasn’t even my favorite whore, my favorite whore was…oh well, she gets murdered too, in fact, doesn’t everybody eventually get murdered in GOT, what an awesome show!

7) When young Robb Stark got his throat cut at the wedding and then his mother got her throat cut too, and blood was gushing all over the floor:

a) I thought can life get any better than this? b) it made me thirsty c) I usually hate weddings but this was awesome d) it was his foreign wife’s fault I don’t like her and I fast forwarded through all their boring scenes together and if you want to know the truth I fast forwarded through the only other “nice” love scenes in the series – the fat guy and his wilding girlfriend with the baby. So boring.

8) When the dwarf strangled his whore Shae and then killed his father Tywin on the toilet:

a) sex, poop and violence – jackpot b) he’s an angry elf (must be from South Pole) (same dwarf by the way) (catch the reference?) (prolly not) c) I’m starting to get uncomfortable with all the dwarf jokes, guys d) his British accent sucks, but then again, it’s not Britain, it’s Westeros. (which is Britain, btw) (THEN WHY ARE ALL THE OTHER ACTORS BRITISH?) And why are all the actors British on Star Wars? Is outer space Britain?

9) When the sexiest woman alive of 2018 burned a bunch of people alive with her dragons it was:

a) very hot b) very sexy c) very hot and sexy d) I wish my cat could burn people

10) When the mutinying Guards of the Night’s Watch plunged their knives one at a time into John Snow:

a) I shouted kill the bastard b) the best was the last one, when that nice little boy did it c) I went into the kitchen and started pacing back and forth, glancing from time to time at that wooden thing on the counter with the knives in it. d) I put on my Joe Jonas album (because remember, he sings like his stomach hurts)

11) When the Red Queen tied up that other bastard and had sex with him then put leeches on him to get some of his royal blood:

a) I thought what a lucky bastard b) I went outside and looked for some leeches but all I found was this snail, can I put it on you? I don’t have to tie you up. c) that was tame compared to Cirsei having the nun raped. d) Shame…

12) Speaking of which, when Cirsei is marched naked through the town while the nun chants “shame”:

a) it was the greatest moment in the history of cinema b) was that poo they threw at her or was it just mud? c) I’m going to say poo d) Don’t feel bad, they paid her two million an episode

13) When Ramsey tied up and tortured Theon it’s pretty good, but then when he cut his penis off:

a) that was off the hook! b) it was funny cause he was eating a sausage on a plate c) let’s remember, Theon did burn two little children to death for no reason d) now his sister has a sister!

14) When Arya served Walder Frey his own dead sons in a pie, then killed him, then put on his face and invited all his clan to dinner and then killed all of them:

a) it was just another day in Westeros b) that pie actually looked tasty c) revenge is a dish best served with dead people in it d) I heard people taste like chicken

15) When Little finger threw his new wife Aunt Lysa through the moon door:

a) I yelled “splat” b) where is her 10-year-old-son going to get breast milk now? Ebay? c) it was time that boy was weaned anyhow d) Littlefinger is so awesome!

16) When Littlefinger is killed by Arya:

a) woops spoiler alert, are you still on season five, sorry! b) it’s OK, he’s Irish c) Arya is the shit! d) I kinda thought he had a shot with Sansa. Am I crazy?

17) In the big war scene when everyone is hacking away and everyone is covered with blood and shit and thousands of people are being slaughtered:

a) it’s a very grand and beautiful spectacle b) it makes violence seem poetic c) it makes hacking flesh seem like a sport d) it’s so good I might actually get my own HBO some day and stop using my sister-in-law’s password.

 

SCORING:  If you love Game of Thrones you do have sadistic impulses.  If you don’t love Game of Thrones you are also a sadist, but are suppressing your sadistic impulses, which is probably very unhealthy.  This aggression will come out in other ways.  Source:  Freud.

However, if you prefer the Dingle to Game of Thrones, you are a good, kind and loving individual.