My Second Phone Call with Elon Musk
MUSK: This is Elon.
ME: Hi, it’s Simon Black calling again.
MUSK: Who? Sorry.
ME: I saw you’re going through a tough time in the news. I’m sorry buddy.
MUSK: Oh, don’t’ pay any attention to that bullshit. It’s fake news. Trump is right about that. I’m not on drugs. It’s bullshit.
ME: I know. Maybe this Canadian singer your dating, though, is she a good influence on you. I mean, she seems kinda goth, kinda dark, and you’ve always been, I thought, really a force of the light. Not the darkness.
MUSK: I’m both. I’ve got a dark side mate, trust me.
ME: Everybody does.
MUSK: I think I remember you. You were in the hyperloop contest.
ME: No. That must be a different Simon. There so many Simons in the Commonwealth sphere. I’m British, by birth, you know. But I recently became American. I agree with your view – America is a place where you can make things happen.
MUSK: True.
ME: So listen Elon, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Funding secured.
MUSK: I get it. You’re taking the piss. Who are you, a prank caller?
ME: No. I’m the editor of Down in the dDngle. It’s a funny satire blog. I hear you like satire. Aren’t you starting your own satire blog?
MUSK: I am indeed.
ME: Funding secured?
MUSK: You used that one already. I remember you now. You’re the one who invited me over to dinner.
ME: Yes. The invitation is still open. Will you come?
MUSK: Are you fucking kidding me. I thought you said you read about me in the news. I don’t sleep for three fucking days straight. I’m jazzed on Ambien. How the hell could I make time to come to your fucking house for dinner?
ME: You could drive your little submarine. I live near the water.
MUSK: Fuck off.
ME: So that’s a no?
(Dial tone)
(Click here if you missed my first conversation with Elon Musk)