Hollywood Legends NextDoor
Marilyn Monroe Helena Drive, April 15
Having trouble sleeping tonight. I feel like a candle in the wind.
Posted 13h ago in General
8 Thanks – 34 Replies
Elton John, 8h ago, Santa Monica Blvd.
Try laying off the speed you stupid cow.
Tom Cruise, 8h ago, Fountain Ave
Anybody know how to get a jar of peanut butter out of a tight place?
Michael Jackson, 7h ago, Los Olivos Blvd.
Can I ask you guys, do normal people freak you out? I mean, people who aren’t celebrities?
Marilyn Monroe 7h ago, Helena Drive
I don’t know any.
Bono, 6h ago, Street With No Name.
I detest normal people. Also, I don’t like paying taxes. But I do like marching around the planet like I give a shit.
Leo DeCaprio, 6h ago, Oriole Way.
Me too. There’s nothing I like more than using up a bunch of jet fuel on my private jet, flying around telling people what’s wrong with them.
Ariana Grande, 6h ago, Dunkin Donuts
I can’t stand normal people. That’s why I lick donuts when the guy isn’t watching. It’s my little way of getting back at normal people. That and hosting false flag terrorist acts.
Gretta Garbo, 6h ago, South Ikea Way
I vant to be a lone shooter. And I vant to shoot a bunch of normal people.
Paul McCartney, 6h ago, Big Bear Lake
Good idea. I think it’s time celebrities started killing people, instead of the reverse.
John Lennon, 6h ago, Columbus Ave.
Happiness is a warm gun aimed at that fuck who shot me.
Marilyn Monroe, 8h ago, Helena Drive
That must have hurt, John.
John Lennon, 6h ago, Columbus Ave.
Yeah, but at least I don’t have to listen to Yoko screech any more.
Chuck Berry, 6h ago, Delmar Loop
Johnny, be good.
Yoko Ono, 6h ago, Sawtelle Ave.
Aiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
John Lennon, 6h ago, Columbus Ave.
Shite I spoke too soon. Where’d you come from?
Yoko Ono, 6h ago, Sawtelle Ave.
I’m your neighbor.
John Lennon, 6h ago, Columbus Ave.
Shoot me again, please, somebody.
Meryl Streep, 6h ago, San Rafael Ave.
It’s not really her, John. It’s just me typing in a Japanese accent.
John Lennon, 6h ago, Columbus Ave.
You got me, Meryl. Christ you’re good at typing accents.
Rose McGowan, 6h ago, Franklin Ave.
Yeah, but she’s a traitor to women.
Meryl Streep, 6h ago, San Rafael Ave.
Rose McGowan is a woman? I’m sorry, I thought she was a bald Appalachian bootlegger.
Harvey Weinstein, 6h ago, Sedona Ave.
Yeah, me too.
Oprah Winfrey, 6h ago, Montecito Blvd.
Who let him in here?
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Meryl Streep, 6h ago, San Rafael Ave.
What do you think of this idea, Oprah, killing all the normal people and then saving the planet for us celebrities?
Oprah Winfrey, 6h ago, Montecito Blvd.
I love saving the planet.
Leo DeCaprio, 6h ago, Oriole Way.
Great idea!
Tom Cruise, 6h ago, Fountain Ave.
Guys, that’s not possible. We need the normal people for Sea Org.
Leo DeCaprio, 6h ago, Oriole Way.
Um, Tom, hate to break it to ya, they’re not normal.
Tom Cruise, 6h ago, Fountain Ave.
Of course not, but I thought we were using the term to denote not famous.
Leo DeCaprio, 6h ago, Oriole Way
Oh, right.
Bob Dylan, 6h ago, Fourth Street
I hate when normal people look me in the eye. And when they whisper about me. And when they give me the Nobel prize.
Malala Yousaifzai, 6h ago, Beverly Drive
I know, that is so totes annoying.
Tom Hanks, 6 h ago, Malibu Colony Rd.
At least she showed up to accept hers.
Bob Dylan, 6h ago, Parnassus Rd.
Don’t criticize what you can’t understand, Gump.
Lady Gaga, 5h ago, Morning View Drive
Well, I’m for killing all the normal people except my assistant, I totally rely on her.
Kim Kardashian, 5h ago, Brand Blvd.
I would die without my assistant.
Oprah Winfrey, 5h ago, Montecito Blvd.
Alright, we let the assistants live.
Reese Witherspoon, 5h ago, Kentucky Ave.
I love my agent, my manager and my hair and makeup people. Can we let them live?
Emma Stone, 5h ago. El Cordova, E. 3rd St. Long Beach
What about my parents, and my brother and sister?
Bob Dylan, 5h ago, Highway 62
Fuck em.
Woody Allen, 5h ago, Manhattan St.
Not always a good idea.
Jack Nicholson, 5h ago, Chinatown
Bob’s right. If we start making exceptions for this one and that one, the whole thing is just gonna get watered down.
Marilyn Monroe, 5h ago, Helena Drive
Who are we kidding, guys? We need the normal people. They are the ones that give us all our power.
James Franco, 5h ago, Palo Alto Blvd.
She’s right. Without the normal people we’re nothing. Oh wait, I guess I am nothing.
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Marilyn Monroe, 3h ago, Helena Drive
So, does anybody have any sleeping pills?
John Kennedy, 3h ago, Elm St.
Bobby does. He’ll be right over.
Mick Jagger, 3h ago, Round St. Petersburg
Who killed the Kennedies?
John Kennedy, 3h ago, Elm St.
Stop shouting!
Marilyn Monroe 3h ago, Helena Drive
Nobody. In our neighborhood, Jack is an assassin and Bobby is a serial murderer. And Martin Luther King Jr. will shoot rednecks from the back of the bus.
Kanye West, 3h ago, Brand Blvd.
I’ma let you finish, Marilyn, cause that’s not a bad idea. But George Bush doesn’t care about black people.
George Bush, 3h ago, Kennebunkport St.,
I care about famous black people. I love Sammy Davis Junior.
Frank Sinatra, 3h ago, Alejo Rd.
So do I. Marilyn, you stop tossing and turning sweetheart and go to sleep. Sammy and I are going to sing you a little song.
Johnny Lydon, 3h ago, Pacific Coast Highway
Oh Christ, please don’t. C’mon everybody, can we have a no elevator music rule on this site?
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Marilyn Monroe 2h ago, Helena Drive
Good night, neighbors. Good night.