Ninja Assassins Attack House Proud Californians

They attack in broad daylight, armed with nunchucks, ninja swords, stars, daggers, knuckle dusters and  chain mail – oh, and digital sound recorders.  These are the last words of their victims, all of whom were spotted in West Coast lifestyle, living and design magazines and websites, discussing their lovely redesigned homes and gardens. 

“Each room has one feature that really draws the eye, like the tile on our fireplace mantle,” Miriam and Doug Chastain-Ambros, San Francisco.

Thwack!  Dong! Sound of blood squirting.

“I really wanted our back yard to be a place where friends and family could gather and feel comfortable,” Bill and Missy Evanston, Palo Alto.

Thwang!  Bang! Gasps of horror.

“The overhead lights in our living room were too bright.  Now with the ambient mood lighting, it’s so nice sipping wine and chatting with friends.”  Jan and Lars Overton, San Luis Obispo.

Pow!  Slam! Grunting.  Pleas for help.

“Because we love to cook and entertain, we wanted a great open space that allowed for flow between the cooking, dining and sitting areas.”  Ernest and Claire Blossom, Santa Monica.

Slice!  Kaboom! Silence.

The Ninja Assassins are available as mercenary soldiers.  Contact them the next time you are thumbing through a magazine and start feeling aggressive.