OUT OF OFFICE REPLY – DOWN IN THE DINGLE
OUT OF OFFICE REPLY – DOWN IN THE DINGLE
Sorry, we are currently away from the Dingle on summer vacation. We will return in a few days. In the mean time, please take a look at our top five out of office replies that we received from you all, thank you, keep up the great work.
OUT OF OFFICE REPLY — PAUL MANAFORT
I am currently away from my office on a long vacation to a resort style facility where I will be getting some much needed rest and relaxation. If you are Ukranian please do not press send after writing your email, please write your email and then place it in the drafts section of the email and I will possibly be able to retrieve it later. If you are friend of Vlad I will be in contact through the normal channels. If you are POTUS, still love ya baby… Pardon, I can’t hear you? I beg your pardon?
OUT OF OFFICE REPLY – ELON MUSK
Sorry, I won’t be able to reply to any emails until the end of the next quarter, since I will be sleeping on the fucking factory floor in Fremont, helping screw in nuts and bolts and other employees of my wonderful company as we try to extricate ourselves from this production hell and reach our goal of 5,000 cars a week. If anybody has any ideas about how to make 5,000 cars a week, please come to the factory and help me. Please. Also, if you are one of the ten thousand employees I just laid off, sorry but you see yourselves, the stock price sky rocketed, fricking wall street loves it when people get fired and lives are ruined. Don’t blame me, I’m a socialist (look it up). Listen, if I had my way it wouldn’t have happened, but these god damned short sellers are screwing up my dream of saving the planet and then leaving the planet to begin our destruction of Mars. If you are currently driving a Tesla on autopilot, please accept my apologies for that name – it’s not really an auto pilot, please close your email and put your hands back on the wheel. If you are that TV star whose Tesla just burst into flames, hey, what can I tell ya, we are a hot company and those short sellers are about to be short burned, and if you are in the media, Donald was right about fake news. By the way I’m a socialist.
OUT OF OFFICE REPLY – BILL CLINTON
I am currently out of the office, going around the country, inexplicably, discussing Monica Lewinsky and other topics of national urgency. Yes, I am getting a little edgy with interviewers. What do you people want from me, it was a different time. It was a good time, I’m not going to lie. You think you’re nostalgic for the Clinton era – me too! Me frickin too!
OUT OF OFFICE REPLY – US NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM
Sorry, we are currently away from the office. We are not sure where we are, but it’s definitely not Trinidad or Tobago. And it’s not Russia. Where are we? Not sure, but we definitely have plans to return sometime before 2026. Go Mexico!
OUT OF OFFICE REPLY – NOBEL PEACE PRIZE – OSLO
Sorry, we are unavailable, Donald. Please stop emailing us. Please…
