Schlitterbahn water park CEO says the rides are safe

Schlitterbahn water park CEO says the rides are safe and that people who are afraid to come there are just pussies.

“Just because a kid was decapitated on one of our most popular rides,” said new park CEO Herman Godfrey, “Some wimpy cry babies are saying our park is dangerous.”

The Kansas amusement park is planning even more dangerous rides, undeterred by the gruesome death of a ten year old two years ago.

“Wait till you see the Chopper,” said Godfrey.  “On that right you slide down a tube and underneath a guillotine-type device that chomps down every three seconds.  Bet you’re afraid to go on that one – aren’t you, you pussy!”

Reports have suggested that Godfrey is likely out of his mind and that Kansas as a state is probably best to be avoided, for lots of reasons.