The Museum of Ice Cream People Planning New Ventures

Upcoming projects planned for major cities

Has the Museum of Ice Cream come to your city? It’s so fun. It’s basically a bunch of rooms filled with ice cream and candy and fun things, instead of boring old paintings of seascapes. It just goes to prove that art doesn’t have to be hard work. it can be engaging, as long as the museum focusses on things that are enjoyable and don’t demand a lot of effort and thought from the viewer.

With that in mind, the creators of the Museum of Ice Cream have the following new museums planned for the upcoming year. They will be mainly in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, because other cities don’t really matter. But they might be coming to your neck of the woods later, who knows?

MUSEUM OF FREE MONEY — Who doesn’t like an unexpected check in the mail? Or a parent dying and leaving you money? Anyhow, as visitors wander around this museum, they will have lots of chances to get free money. They might find it on the floor. Or that might be a dollar on a fishing line. Ha. There’s lots of wacky stuff going on here and it’s going to be a blast. And, it’s easy. Even lazy people can enjoy coming here and getting free money.

MUSEUM OF CHOCOLATE PIZZA — Everybody loves chocolate and everybody loves pizza. So the Museum of Ice Cream people decided to make a bunch of exhibits about chocolate pizza. You can have it with pepperoni, or cake. Or even gummy bears. Every room in the museum will have a different kind of chocolate covered pizza. And in the main hall there will be a chocolate swimming pool you can dive into from a pizza shaped diving board, then you can float around and swallow a bunch of chocolate for as long as you like. Be careful though, if you swallow some warm chocolate in the pool, you know what that means — yuck. People are so gross. But even gross people can enjoy this fun museum.

MUSEUM OF FELLATIO — Who doesn’t like blow jobs? Fellatio is a happy thing, almost as happy as ice cream, but not quite. Anyhow, this museum will feature the most wonderful exhibits of big red lips going around sausages and stuff like that. It’s fun, and you don’t have to be smart to understand it.

MUSEUM OF NITROUS OXIDE — Sorry that’s a hard word, I think they’ll have to work on the title. But the museum idea is great. It’s a museum entirely filled with laughing gas. You wander from room to room laughing until your sides split. It’s not difficult at all and you don’t have to think, you just have to enjoy.

Enjoy, enjoy enjoy! And don’t go to boring museums that suck. Go to these fun museums.

And enjoy!