What I learned from A Star is Born (SPOILER ALERT)

It’s very hard to be a rock star.  The touring is a real grind.  And then the drinking is tough, and so are the drugs.  And people take photos of you wherever you go, even at the grocery store or in drag bars.  And also, then your fucking girlfriend becomes a bigger star than you which also sucks.  Wetting yourself in public is a real embarrassment.  But when an English ponce tells you to kill yourself, you probably shouldn’t listen to that.

This extremely weird movie never seems to be about the characters but oddly seems to be about Lady Gaga being in this big remake of Star is Born, and therefore the real title of the film is something more like Gaga’s Film Career is Born.   And on that level, it is a triumph.  Lady Gaga is a true descendant of Judy Garland and Babs, without matching their vocal talent, maybe, but certainly matching their charisma.  What makes it even more interesting is that Lady Gaga is herself a character made up by Stefanie Germanotta.  It is extremely fascinating to watch where Stephanie/Gaga and her character “Ally” in this film begin, end, overlap, inform one another.  The main question or “drama” of each scene of the film seems to be “Can Gaga deliver?”  And yes.  She can!  Also, extremely meta is the fact that the climax the film is an entertainment awards show – the Grammy’s–since we all know the real film story won’t be over until the Academy Awards.  And what will Lady Gaga wear in this final, extremely satisfying scene on the red carpet?   I’m rooting for another meat dress.  We’re all keto now, after all.

And the Oscar goes to the dog who actually acted like he gave a shit when Bradley Cooper was dangling in the garage.  Lady Gaga was also bummed.  She smashed a picture frame and then sang the big finale.  Which I’m sure she’ll reprise on Oscar night next March.

And Hollywood will have successfully disappeared up its own anus.