Yes, I Will Marry You

Yes, I Will Marry You

by MacKenzie Bezos


OMG. This is the happiest moment of my life. Thank you, thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me. I will love you forever. Or at least almost thirty years. That seems to be about how long love lasts.

But honestly, this was so unexpected. I was just surfing the internet, home alone, with a glass of Chardonnay. I just got off the phone with my divorce lawyer. Yeah, it’s not easy. But I think I”m gonna get about 80 billion.

Anyhow, I saw this satire site, Down in the Dingle. I heard it was pretty good. And imagine my surprise when I saw your article, MacKenzie Bezos will you marry me?

That really impressed me. I mean, talk about confidence.

We’ve never even met, but that didn’t stop you, and it’s not going to stop me either. I have never even seen a photo of you, but I don’t care. Let’s face it, Jeff is no Brad Pitt, so you’re probably good enough looking for me. There is this little pic in your profile but it’s hard to see much about you. I mean, are we almost the same age? I have no idea. Is that real hair?

But more importantly, I don’t care. I just do not want to be alone in the world. I’m going to use you to avoid my feelings of despair, is that OK?


So, anyhow, we should meet up. I’m in Seattle. Can you come up here? Or I’ll come down there. How’s Monday?

Just respond to me here via Medium, and if that goes OK I will give you my personal email.

So excited!

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