Delta and Coke Announce New Flirting Napkin

 

“Why not follow your airplane crush down to baggage claim,” the napkin suggests.

Some people have claimed that the creepy napkins given to passengers on Delta flights have crossed a line. But Delta and Coke executives are doubling down.

“If she doesn’t talk to you in baggage claim,” another napkin suggests, “Follow her to the taxi stand. When she gets in an Uber, ask the driver what part of town she’s living in. A lot of these Uber drivers are very talkative.”

While it may seem that the napkins are encouraging stalking or outright menacing, Coke officials say everybody needs to lighten up.

“It’s a napkin, for cripes sake,” said the official.

Next month Coke and Delta are set to release a new flirting moist towelette, with a moist message that encourages people to use them on attractive sleeping passengers, because “why not?”