Is Harvard Really Biased Against Rabbits?

Is Harvard Really Biased Against Rabbits?

Bunny Blog #648

I know one thing — no rabbit has ever attended Harvard University. This could, of course, be because of a phenomenon called self-selection. That means most bunnies know they aren’t going to get in, so they don’t apply.

Of course, bunnies don’t usually live long enough to attend any college at all, let alone the top Ivy. My own 459 children will probably all live to be about 11 or 12. They will make it to sixth or seventh grade.

But what if they did finish high school? And what if they did apply to Harvard? Would they be accepted? Would they even fit in? What dining club would they be admitted to? Don’t some of the dining clubs actually serve rabbit?

I myself somehow have lived to be 57 years old. I attended Columbia University. We called it the Scruffy Ivy in those days. In the 1970s New York city was a cesspool of human detritus and scum — have you seen Taxi Driver? Nobody wanted to go to Columbia then. Now New York is all Disneyfied and everyone wants to go to New York. If a rabbit like me applied to Columbia, I doubt I would get in. But back in 1979 I was one of fourteen lagomorphs living together in a small shed behind Carmen Dormitory at Columbia College. It was an all-male school then, so we were supposed to be all male bunnies. (Turned out six were female — we had plenty of college fun, trust me!). There was a nice Jamaican guard named Ramsey who fed us and changed the straw in our shed every now and then. He also walked us through the core curriculum. I’m shocked, looking back now, that we were not at all bothered by the lack of rabbit authors considered part of the “canon”. But that’s another issue.

We’re talking about admission here.

I was rejected by Harvard.

Perhaps after reading this blog they will offer me an honorary degree?

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