So Sorry
Poetry by Felicity Huffman
I’m so sorry to all the poor people
who don’t cheat and who don’t pay bribes
I’m so sorry to all the unfortunates
who didn’t get to go to Interlochen like me when they were young
I’m so sorry you didn’t get picked for David Mamet’s group at NYU
Sorry you didn’t have my lovely life
I’m sorry your nickname isn’t Flicka
Cause I have the cutest nickname.
Sorry you didn’t grow up with horses like I did
I’m sorry to the rest of the American elite
For opening up this crack and letting the unwashed look in
And glimpse in horror what a difference privilege makes
(But don’t worry, the unwashed have short memories,
they’ll forget all of this in time)
Still, I am sorry I betrayed you, my rich and famous friends
At Campbell Hall and Oakwood and the Buckley School and Harvard Westlake
Little castles in the valley for the young aristocrats
The young princes and princesses of celebrity and wealth
The only places in America where the truth can be spoken —
That the golden calf in fact is God.
That what matters the very most is your bloodline
And your family crest of dollar signs
I’m so sorry to the College Board
and the FBI
and I’m sorry to the judge
and the prosecutor
I’m grateful to my publicist
who helped me craft this apology
I’m sorry you were so expensive
But this rebranding’s going well!
Everyone agrees.
It will take a while, but I’ll be healed and redeemed
I’m so sorry for what I did
I’m sorry, I’ve never written poetry before
This sounds like free-associating
Sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Oh yes, above all, and please believe me
The thing I’m most sorry for
And the thing I most regret:
I’m so sorry I got caught.