Why?

Poetry by William H. Macy

Why should disabled kids get unlimited time on the SATs

When my child has to do it in three hours?

Why should you have to actually row

If you’re on the rowing team?

Why should Bob Dylan win the Nobel Prize

and not my friend David Mamet?

Do you know how brave he is?

Have you read Speed the Plow?

It speaks the brave truth that the real victims of sexual harassment aren’t the women

The real victims are the men!

And the real victims in this SAT story aren’t you, the regular people.

The real victims are we celebrities.

The Feds entrapped us.

The framed us.

Why are they picking on us?

Oh, because we didn’t want to go to a public school filled with minorities?

Why, because we wanted to go to our special expensive private schools in the valley where they serve the kids fresh bread and sushi?

What’s wrong with that?

Haven’t we earned that?

Have you seen public schools out here?

I mean, they really are filled, I mean filled with minorities.

Why should my child go to a college with a bunch of idiots

Just because she’s not good at tests?

Why shouldn’t someone else take her test?

Why should I go to jail too, just because my wife is going to jail?

What, do you want my child to be an orphan?

It was my wife’s idea anyhow.

I’m not being a rat, but it was.

I’m a good guy.

Why shouldn’t I win an academy award for Shameless even though it’s a TV show and they give the Oscars to movies?

Have you seen me in Shameless?

I’m playing myself.

Kidding.

I’ve never written poetry before.

This sort of sounds like I’m just talking.

Is this poetry?

Is this any good?