These 5 Stocks Could be the Next Amazon.com
Dealio.com (DLLOO) This company offers special deals and apps that go bing and sometimes they call you up in the middle of the night on your land line and hang up but most often they possess the bodies of friends you meet in the bar who say what’s the dealio and I would strongly recommend buying it but not telling anybody about it because it might tank and that could be embarrassing.
Hello Hello Brands (HELL) This new start up is hard to explain, imagine the Los Angeles health food store Erewon meets the crappiest greasiest diner you ever ate at. Hello fast food restaurants offer deep fried kale, nutritional supplements mixed with cups of sugar and blended into something they call supple-sugar shakes, chocolate covered elliptical exercise machines so your hands get covered with melted chocolate as you work out in the gym section of the stores which are surprising to find because most fast food restaurants don’t have gyms but Hello restaurants do and they also have gambling that’s right you can play poker or 21 with your friends in the escape room oh did I not mention there is an escape room element you can take your deep fried kale and sugar supplement shake into a mystery adventure room where you’re locked up and have to solve clues to get back out to the restaurant section. They are discussing adding yoga to the escape rooms so that if you can’t escape you can at least stay limber.
Biohazard-A-Guess Incorporated (BIOHAZ) This bio tech start up has been able to synthesize a new form of life it’s not carbon based but it is based on elements that founder MIT grad Jareesh Chopkandra found up in his attic in the “Your Very Own Minerals Kit” that his parents bought him for his 12th birthday. Looking at the kit Jareesh fell into a trance and heard a voice telling him to combine one of the crystals from the kit with a particle found in his “Dig Your Own Fossil” kit that was also up in the attic. An alchemy took place and the resulting little man shaped stone figure started to walk around and eventually create its own mineral based language to communicate with other stone people and formed an army serving their master Jareesh.. These stone people now work at Biohazard a guess factory near MIT building sneakers that Jareesh hopes will allow him to compete with Nike.
Pin a Rose on You.com (OUCH) This start up allows you to pin a rose on people you like or people you think have done something nice or funny. When they click on to the pin a rose link in their email a hand will reach out their computer and pin a rose on their shirt or blouse. Early testing resulted in various injuries and the company went into chapter 11 but subsequent safety measures were put into place by the investor who took over the company and now a hand no longer comes out of the computer and pins a rose on you but they do get a rose emoji via text or email and they are able to smell the scent of a rose around their computer for the next day or so but they might be just imagining that.
Humorous Tumorous (HMTM) This medical technology innovations research facility is trying to make cancer funny. Investors were initially skeptical but now many agree that it might indeed be possible for one day, perhaps not in the near future, but within ten years, for this company to be profitable. So although it’s not likely to pay off many are buying this long shot equity because you’ve got to be in it to win it and who knows?